3 Comments
Aug 12, 2021Liked by John Birmingham

As the coalition continue to expand the boundaries of their philosohy of New Think, they have realised that they are beyond the jurisdiction of the law. The realisation that they are now guided by a higher power has emboldened them to embrace this divine gift.

A plan for the complete reorganisation of society as we know it has convinced them that they have to fulfil the destiny of Friedman and Haynek from the The Chicago School of Economics.

Firstly the appointment of Jerry Harvey as minister for Social Services has brought the concept of the New World Order as the natural progression of New Think. His policy of making all peons on social service benefits to be placed in tread mills which will generate electricity has been warmly welcomed by the Sky News pundits. Those recalcitrants who refuse to realise that the tread mill is part of the oligarchs New Green Deal, to offset carbon emissions to save the planet for capitalism, will be beaten with a stick, with a proviso that if the stick breaks they will be charged for the cost of the stick which will be added to their debt.

Secondly the Marketing Maestro from Central Services will enact the Howard vision for a conclave of heads of the Dark Companies to celebrate the defeat of the of the legislation to expose them to the same laws as the population of functionaries. Pauline Pantsdown will be raised to the status of a rightious one for cowing down to big business.

The third tenet will be the elevation of Greedy Norman as the replacement for Holy Houston as the Bible Babbler in chief. One of this stud horses will be appointed Governer General of the new state of Murdochria.

A statue of Saint Alan Jones astride a golden calf will installed in the Hall of Mirrors in the Australia Club so that his acolytes may come and pay homage.

His achievement of becoming an unelected politician with his acolytes as the electorate is recognized as proof of his god like intellect.

Lastly an annual parade through the boulevards of the new nations capital, Libertainia, with His Greedyness Jerry, I'm a family man, Harvey in a golden carriage drawn by a brace of his best brood mares, with his comfort woman of long standing beside him, to culminate in a ceremony of the handing over of a novelty cheque for a six figure sum to the head of the Liberal Party of Australia the most despicable John Olsen on the lawn outside the Temple of the Tsars.

I have to go now as my ten o'clock session of banging my head against my wall is the only way I can expunge the guilt of being a burden on the state.

Expand full comment

My mate, Big Teddy Devianatu, is kicking himself for spending all that cash collected from his meths dealers on blind trusts to buy pollies, when all he had to do was rip off Jobkeeper and have the govmint pay him the cash to fill all those Aldi bags dropped off on politician's front doorsteps.

Expand full comment