Because reasons, Alan.

History repeats itself. First as tragedy. And then as monetised stupidity. There were fewer anti-mask wingnuts around during the Spanish Flu of 1918, perhaps because the bug stacked up 50 000 000 infected corpses in pretty short order, but there were still enough militantly witless dummies around to protest the intolerable imposition of compulsory mask wearing.

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose, motherfuckers.

The epidemiology of our modern foolishness suggests that Covid Derangement Syndrome spreads faster than the virus which causes it, and results in even more brain damage.

It would be wrong to dial in on the brain farts of a “World class MMA Fighter” from Carrum Downs, given how many times that particular brain has suffered severe kinetic trauma and oxygen deprivation in the octagon, but Vik did launch himself into the mask wearing ‘debate’… So it does beg the question of why a pissed off, middle-aged cage fighter came to believe there actually was a debate. And why getting kicked in the head for ten years qualified him to contribute?

Perhaps this pink-breasted galah has the answer.

It’s unlikely that Vik Grujic ever watched Alan Jones’ white power hour on Sky News After Dark, simply because very few people ever watch Alan Jones’ white power hour on Sky News After Dark. But Jones widely unwatched show, and Sky more generally, are just a small part of a massive global agit-prop machine that has been a big part of humanity’s suboptimal response to Covid-19.

Newscorp’s giant corporatised alien face-hugger is the most prominent offender, both here and in the US, where Fox News has already begun putting together legal teams to defend the class actions they’ll soon face for having catfished so many of their viewers into killing themselves.

Denis Muller, a Senior Research Fellow at Melbourne Uni’s Centre for Advancing Journalism describes parts of News Corp’s Covid coverage as “a clear and present danger to the welfare of Australian society.”

Aping the worst of the American media – notably Murdoch’s Fox News – it rails against science, ridicules the measures being taken to suppress the outbreak, and tries to politicise a germ.

It also propagates hate speech, vilifying ethnic and religious minorities in whose suburbs, schools and housing towers clusters have broken out.

In all these ways, it drives divisions in Australian society and sows doubt in the minds of an anxious population about the need for lockdowns and other precautions.

An extra thick ham sandwich like Vik Grujic doesn’t need to inhale the OpEd page at The Hun or The Terror every morning with his protein shake. He can get the same benefits from his Twitter feed, where according to MIT’s Technology Review, half of the accounts discussing the latest Covid news are bots, and most of what they’re chewing over is disinformation. And Twitter is Encyclopedia Britannica compared to the Book of Face which is now the world’s premium introduction agency for tinfoil moonbats, wine mom extremists, and actual Nazis.

Some of the disinformation on social media is sourced from Russian and Chinese troll farms, but a lot of it is simply reheated shit takes from legacy media - hot laxative sprays like Peta Credlin’s attack in late June on South Sudanese Muslims for detonating the Coburg viral cluster at a series of Ramadan feasts.

You can’t find Credlin’s editorial on Sky anymore. It was pulled down when South Sudanese community leaders pointed out that 90% of their community are Christian, not Muslim, and none of them live in Coburg. No Sudanese Australians had tested positive for Covid-19. And Ramadan had ended months earlier anyway.

D’oh! No Gold Walkley for Princess Credibility this year.

But as the Village People tried to warn us, lo’ so many years ago, you can’t stop the music.

*Shakes head sadly.* Nobody can stop the music.

And a growing army of gullible numpties gorge themselves on an All You Can Eat buffet of paranoid bullshit like Alan Jones’ conversation with The Australian’s Adam Creighton on July 21, which the parrot opened by asking, “Isn’t there a wider issue here, that lockdowns and wearing masks is really about Big Brother government seeking to control individual behaviour?”

The correct answer was not just No, but FUCK NO!

However, as if to prove that a breathtakingly stupid question in no way precludes an even stupider answer, Creighton took a big huff off the chemtrail bong to debut his theory that once mask-wearing is compulsory governments will make it permanent.


Because reasons, Alan. Reasons.

It goes on and on like this, but these exhausting motherfuckers do, all the time. Don’t they.

It’s not really cool then, I guess, to blame a “World class MMA Fighter” from Carrum Downs for his delusional tweets about something he couldn’t possibly understand. Whether that be virology, epidemiology or the accelerating collapse of our contaminated information ecosystems.

Some of the arsehats you’ll see over the next week or so, refusing to wear a mask, breaking quarantine or social distancing protocols, are actually sincere in their beliefs. It doesn’t mean you have to respect them. They’re nucking futs and they’ll kill us all.

But the real monsters are those cynics and attention junkies who’ve mastered the business of performative fuckmuppetry and couldn’t give one wet shit for whether you live or die because of it, as long as they get paid.