Condolences from the desk of Vladimir Putin

"Dearest Tucker"

Dearest Tucker,

Saddened was I to hear of your recent departure from glorious workers news organ of the Fox. Surprised too, because Rupert Merdokovich remains favourite oligarch of mine and you remain favourite idiot of much usefulness. Is like tragedy of Tolstoy to see such close and useable friends falling out.

I can imagine this will be most difficult time for you and your loved ones, the buffalo horns on head man, crazy pillow millionaire and Rudy Lawyerfellow with hair wax melting as if from polonium overdosage. Is especially vexing to me given important role you play as friendly comrade commentator on Russian TV. I have banned News of the Fox from all my bunkers in solidarity with you, but this means I must listen every night to the idiot Solovyov on RT talking through arse and crapping into own mouth. This I tell you so that you understand I suffer with you, my friend.

As one in public eye for many years, often shirtless on horse and bear, I know fame can be both blessing and curse. You will understand, my friend, how good it is to ride the bear and enjoy the memes of manliness we have inspired in many fine internet discussion forums.

But fame can also be source of scrutiny and criticism, which must be crushed like oligarch heads on frozen Moscow street concrete after unfortunate fall through open penthouse windows. May all of your enemies walk past the open windows, Comrade.

Much admiration have I had always for your dedication to speaking truth and shining light on issues mattering most to you and audience of ignorant Kentucky Fried kulaks. Your special episode of shining light into buttholes of kulaks for manly morning exercise was much especially funny to me.

I believe your work will continue to influence with people for many years to come. This is advice I have directly from GRU Influence Operations Department, who I ask to brief on matter because I had to execute FSB Influence Operations Direcktorate after they spend entire Ukraine budget on diamond crusty disco ball for dacha and superyacht.

(Also, Sergei says thanks for all your help on Ukraine).

Your voice will be sorely missed at News of the Fox, especially by the gang at GRU Influence Operations. I have no doubt you will soon be finding new opportunities to connect with kulak types in meaningful ways. If not, please talk to my friend Prigozhin who has many job opportunities in Ukrainian market.

In meantime, I hope you are to be taking care of yourself and your loved ones during this transition. (Or perhaps your loved ones need taking care of? Seriously call Prigozhin. His standards are very low. Rudy Lawerfellow could be Colonel General of Wagner Group by tomorrow.)

Change is never easy, believe me, Tuck. Even with 198 Battalion Tactical Groups on the job, turns out change is not the happy bowl of borscht we were promised. But can also be catalyst for growth and new possibilities. Perhaps we could do podcast together?

Let me know.

Warm regards, Vlad.