God save the... oops, too late.
There are no jokes to be made about an old lady dying. Unless you’re Irish.
Okay. Fine. But at least not for a couple of days.
Damn it.
I’m starting to regret not firing off that tweet about Liz Truss killing her.
You know who I’m talking about.
QE2.
The Regina rocker. Yes. Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, prevent the corgis barking with a juicy bone. Let Tony Abbott circle, moaning overhead, scribbling on the sky the message ‘She is Dead’.
Toned Abs was the first person I heard on the wireless this morning, getting genuinely Jon Snow for his grannified Danaerys and that seems weird appropriate since he was the last PM to have a proximity orgasm just driving through the servants’ entrance at Buck Palace.
He was very upset, and that’s weird cool. Betts was a celebrity he liked and we’ve all been there. I was sad facin’ for days after Ms Rona murdered Tim Brooke-Taylor.
Betts was a tough old bird, too. She got the job done for the better part of a century, and part of the job was kicking Adolph Hitler’s arse, so props to her for that.
I do feel personally let down that she wasn’t tough enough to survive that last, ultimately fatal encounter with Liz Truss, because I had planned a series of cosy crime mysteries in which Her Maj and Sir David Attenborough would secretly meet up, perhaps in disguise, to solve murders in a charming English village with a surprising number of murders for such a small and otherwise charming village. And that’s sad for me.
Others will have been touched in their own way.
And some may even be angry at the news.
Whatever you’re feeling, it’s okay to indulge yourself for a bit. Somebody on the television has died and you will have all the feels.
Or not.
And that’s cool, too.
Dunno how I feel about Charles slipping onto our Coat of Arms between the Skippy and the giant murder bird, though. But perhaps after we’ve watched all the really good funeral telly we could have a word about that.
Well, other than Liz Truss being the main suspect, I understand that Meghan M has been detained having been seen purchasing pillows the day before in "Bed, bath and beyond" - you know, those pillows that take your breath away. Just saying.
I'll miss Timbo more. But seriously*, why go to all the expense of putting Chaz3's head on coins, notes, stamps, a pike and then going to a Republic. Just delay the new stuff for a while and do it once.