Won’t somebody please think of the ocean-going billionaires?

Poor, poor super-rich Gina. After days battling the cruel seas, she arrived in the deep north this week, exhausted and forced to quaff jeroboams of mere Pernod-Ricard Perrier-Jouet because the Shipwrecked 1907 Heidsieck simply wasn’t available in the backward, frontier ports of darkest Queensland.

And then, heaven forfend, she and the other robber baron…