36 Comments
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insomniac's avatar

While I agree with your proposal, I think you'll only need to eat one billionaire (publicly, and of your choosing), because afterwards, there will be no billionaires, merely very generous philanthropists.

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Jim KABLE's avatar

And it is true that most of this class of persons about which you write are enormously-girthèd with flanks of extreme size - and sweetbreads and such within the corpulent personages which could indeed well-satisfy many persons of the lesser orders! I am well persuaded JB by your arguments that it is a plan which must verily, forsooth, be acted upon ASAP.

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Stephen Thair's avatar

Henceforth, when anyone mentions the weighty pages of our tax code, I shall immediately declaim "it's a cookbook!" and laugh uproariously...

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Greybeard's avatar

I was going to make a pun but Barnes was too Swift. Given their nature, I feel this could be useful. https://www.emuridge.com.au/shop/1355/

How could you refuse a Palmer topped with cheese sauce with beer battered chips?

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Paul Brennan's avatar

Chicken Palmer-Gina with a side of Bezos-battered fries

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Gai Trewinnard-McNeill's avatar

Bwahaha!

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Valerie Kennedy's avatar

Gold!!!

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Zaphod B's avatar

I am reminded of the old Comic Book film Eat the Rich. Surely it would be more fun to hunt them in gaming preserves before any feast? Is Clive Palmer a billionaire yet? We could feed a nation on his carcass.

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isabel robinson's avatar

I fear all that running and hiding would cause them to lose too much of the expensively acquired marbling, the likes of which adds to the sumptuousness of their ample rumps.

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Tony Neilson's avatar

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of an obscene fortune, must be in want of a knife."

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Jim KABLE's avatar

To that person's gut?

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Potato Shaped Man's avatar

At what point does it become OK for other nation states just to shoot these billionaire cunts in the head?

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Suzi Hammond's avatar

Whatever you do make sure you strip out their opinions & rinse thoroughly to avoid the taint of bile

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Ty's avatar

JB, Douglas Adam's has shown us the way here, old sport.

The Golgafrincham Ark B for Billionaires is the way you go on this one 👍

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Valerie Kennedy's avatar

I thought this treatise was more in the manner of John Adams; a very erudite man and a staunch patriot, who accompanied Thomas Jefferson and others to England to argue for America’s freedom from the tyranny of common workers paying taxes to fatten the beneficiaries of a far off Imperial government, while being denied any benefits (not even a franchise) in return.

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AusMossy's avatar

Motorhead could provide the background music for the feast, "C'mon Baby Eat The Rich".

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Volker Janssen's avatar

Yeah-naah, I don't know. While I really like the idea, I wonder how the taste of sulphur can be eliminated. Slow cooking for 24 hours? Pickling?

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K2SO's avatar

It has always astounded me that the uber-rich can't see that their exponential gobbling of all the wealth will finally result in another kind of gobbling they will not enjoy so much: their being eaten. Silly billies!

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Gai Trewinnard-McNeill's avatar

Absolutely JB! We'd actually only need to eat one or two and the rest would very quickly get with the programme I feel....

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Arthur Meek's avatar

Do a reading of this as part of Grubstack! Modest proposal title… eat the rich: how to serve a billionaire. Email grubstack@substackinc.com and will send u all the guff.

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Tim McMaster's avatar

Or put more succinctly "Eat the rich"

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Bitchface Malone III's avatar

Eat the Rich!

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