33 Comments
Apr 22, 2022Liked by John Birmingham

“Deserve’s got nothing to do with it.” - Should be the motto for Australia I think.

Expand full comment
Apr 22, 2022Liked by John Birmingham

"Ineptocracy"...perfect....I think I have to use that one myself until...until we aren't one anymore (please be May 21)

Expand full comment

"Or maybe he’s just a cunt."

Explains it beautifully!

Expand full comment

We've been running down DFAT and development aid since Howard. We are very poor friends to our neighbours. We replaced Radio Australia with some Fox/Sky combo too. We're starting to get what we deserve.

Expand full comment

Good summary, JB. A mate's just send me the news that Peter Dutton has had to apologise (mealy-mouthed though it was) for his "off-the-cuff" "joke" about rising sea waters and Pacific island countries - with Tony Abbott - and Scott not joining in because he'd noted the overhanging microphone. "Off-the-cuff" is another way of saying "what one truly thinks" and I think it will be an "apology" merely noted out in the Pacific nations - certainly no need to accept it. And news in various outlets of more scandals within Hillsong - our Pentecultist PM's favourite happy-clappy Sunday venue - internationally (always money and sex scandals) and from one of the seniors within its Sydney version - about the Houstons abuse of power and lack of due accountability... The insensitivity of the PM being "blessed" re the outcome of his own children vis-à-vis the Q&A audience member goes to the heart of the mind-controlling-the mouth - the truth escapes - insensitivity can't be controlled! And accusing the ALP of "backing China" - where on earth did that come from if not a propensity for lying (when my own complaint was that LNP paranoia re China - directed by the US interests - seemed to be echoed/me-too style by the ALP. Anything for the chance to ugly lies out there hoping they will stick. As for INDUE card plans for pensioners and further ruination of Medicare and NDIS - of course there are enough indications from the LNP mob despite the protestations that these are plans (Exhibit A: There will be not cuts to the ABC!!)

Expand full comment

"...his favourite transphobic milf". That's hilarious. I could imagine there would be quite a few pollies lining up to buy her a drink at the pub on a cold Canberran night.

Expand full comment

Dunno if I'd say he's "just a cunt". I think it's more a case of all of the above. Starting a TERF war in Warringah is an interesting move from someone who the gallery seems to think is a genius campaigner. The voters there tossed out the last illiberal onion muncher, and even he wasn't as offensive as the new candidate, Madam Lash. I suspect you're right, he's put her out as bait for the bigots in other branches, but if the local member isn't backing her, which few seem to be, then he's going to be spending a lot of time on his knees in the next few weeks. Praise be.

Expand full comment

You know JB I thought exactly the same thing bout Albo when I heard the news. The good ol law of unintended consequences is likely to result in a bit of upside for him in this instance. Cause fuck he needs it.

The rest of your your points….. well fuck …accurate and ohh so depressing……

Expand full comment

"sloppy, mean, lazy and incompetent all fall well within one standard deviation of normal" nailed it

Expand full comment

I think we may have simply been outbid in the Solomon islands. The Chinese bought the elite and we didn't. We couldn't afford them in the first place. A country needs big money to project power and we can never match China. Maybe China will splash enough infrastructure cash to drag the Solomon islanders into the 21st century ( good luck ! ) Maybe China can delay them going underwater and rehome their climate refugees by intermarriage with Han Chinese on the Chinese mainland. Or maybe the Solomons will become more of a corrupt hole than it already is and we should now forget about them and concentrate on building a big enough weapon to defend ourselves.

Expand full comment

This was a great column. Plus a quote from "Unforgiven," one of the best westerns ever. Classic. Keep 'em coming, JB!

Expand full comment
Apr 26, 2022·edited Apr 26, 2022

The paragraph below is a beauty! The fact it is one overly long sentence that somehow manages to lazily roll off the page like a perfectly rolled spliff being passed down the table towards you makes it gold.

"Between the cock up in the Solomons...standard deviation of normal for the maximum fuckmuppet of our reigning ineptocracy."

I'm starting to think this schtick of yours, the sweary political rantings in the written form is its own writing genre, maybe we need to give it a name?

Expand full comment

Everyone can relax. Scott has drawn a line in the ocean.

Expand full comment