21 Comments
May 19, 2023Liked by John Birmingham

Ah Ms Rinehart, you've done it again. Someone who had the good fortune to inherit a swag of iron ore mines at the start of the great iron ore boom, lecturing those of us not so fortunate. Now let's be clear, mining can be a wonderful thing - hear me out - if it produces the metals and minerals we need at the lowest possible cost, with the least possible harm to the environment, the most possible taxation revenue, and the creation of the greatest number of well-paying jobs.

But Ms Rinehart doesn't seem all that concerned with those goals. In fact, But Ms Rinehart doesn't seem interested in much other than the accumulation of ever more colossal wealth, regardless of who gets hurt in the process. Don't take my word for it, just ask her kids ...

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All so true, yet why stop there? Surely we could secure the services of, say, Kate Cebrano to warble through a song penned by La Rhino herself, based on the mastery of verse on display in this actual poem, a genuine thing that she really wrote...

https://genius.com/Gina-rinehart-our-future-annotated

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How was Gina not appointed Poet Laureate by the Abbott/Turnbull/Morrison government? Surely while Barnaby the Beetrooter Buffoon was acting PM he could have put her up for it.

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Too appalling even to be called doggerel. However, quite reflects the classiness of the composer.

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Puts the dog into it that's for sure.

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Jun 3, 2023·edited Jun 3, 2023

You'd be thinking Tina Arena should sing the song, surely?

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author

But of course. And don’t call me Shirley.

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The phrase "carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre white man" has nothing on the sheer unrepentant chutzpah of a blatant tax avoider like her claiming "pay income tax like the rest of us on their work earnings". As you have said it before the problem is THE RICH WONT PAY TAX. Consider eating the rich, I guarantee we only have to do it once and the rest will start coughing up the cash.

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No doubt she counts her donations to the LNP and IPA as "paying her taxes".

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Mmmm...going to need a bigger guillotine.

Seriously though how would Bond beat some like Ms G. Coalfinger? It would have to be a hero cross over say Bond + Batman with surprise appearance by Deadpool.

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I'm sure I told you that when in Bucharest (James Bond business, of course) I dined courtesy of the Moneypenny figure in my life at the top restaurant. Brilliant meal - a luncheon - almost the entire restaurant to ourselves - superb service. Later I sought out the chef to pay my compliments (I was brought up well). So you are from Australia, he noted. He himself a score of years earlier aged 19 out of The Netherlands. Yes, I acknowledged. (It was my 70th birthday luncheon.) Well, he said - I once worked for the wealthiest woman in Australia. Did you have to sign a confidentiality clause in your contract. He merely smiled - enigmatically... (How naïve of me not to have thought that she would have permanent employees - no doubt shared between the plutocrats/autocrats around the world.) Of course GR would have a series of chefs (who would be able to spend only the time that it took to build their nest-egg for opening their own restaurant) to cater for her nourishment - she could scarcely cook for herself! It is actually very difficult to refrain from ad hominem commentary with monsters like that woman - and her former toy boy, Barnaby Joyce!

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When I read the title - Coalfinger I thought you were going to give Clive Palmer a serve on his plans to sue Australia for whatever he couldn't get out of the Western Australian Government's coffers. As I understand it was in the hundreds of billions. In fact the writers of this next version of the James Bond series could use both of them interchangeably or they could start a new series of Bond villains.

The 15 minutes a day reminding people "of the contribution of mining", reminds me of her attempt at poetry that Craig Reucassel took the piss out of. The thing with Gina and Clive (and Twiggy - to a limited extent) is that they and some of their opposite numbers in the US and China really want the powers that their opposite numbers in Saudi Arabia have - unregulated power. They come close with their hold over the Labor Liberal National Party through their donations, which lead to governments getting fascist about climate change protesters, while they ignore religious homophobes having a protest march reciting the Rosary in Newtown. Either way it looks like Coalfinger and her brother's and sisters in the gas business have bought the South Australian Government https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/may/18/south-australia-anti-protest-laws-activists-rally-oil-gas-appea-conference-adelaide

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Someone needs to cast a love interest? I know, Barnaby - he could get right in there, mining the hell out of it! Maybe 15 minutes might be a stretch but with enough fruity lexia he might work up to it!

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Is there a role for Barnaby and Matt Canavan as the dopey sidekicks who always stuff up her best laid plans?

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Yep I spent my 15 minutes on the bog contemplating Gina..it was quite a splash when Gina hit the water..

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TDA: You confirm my comment above - about ad hominem - it's impossible not to with GR:

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Gina Ironheart, should establish a think tank, and name it the Anthracite Academy of Black Gold.

Now that the Gina appreciation society has been trounced by the proles, one would think that the acolytes of the light on the hill, would put coal on the back burner, so to speak. Alas the hole in ground cabal have sent their best lobbyist to see Tanya and convinced her of the benefit of coppers in the coffers, in Labor's fighting fund for the next election.

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Duly shared

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Surprising that she can manage to get out all that nonsense without laughing! It certainly cracks up the rest of us.

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Brilliant take, JB.

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