A long time ago, in an alternate universe far, far away, I was shadowing Kim Beazley for The Sydney Morning Herald, watching him wind his big, genial self around the country like a hopeful blimp full of happy gas, squaring up to John Howard in the steel cage death match of the 2001 federal election.
And the topper for the week was demanding all workers return to the workplace and stop working from home, then proudly asserting he'd be living in Kirribilli so he could... um... work from home.
I am cautiously optimistic JB. That said, no one has ever gone wrong underestimating the intelligence of the voting public...That's how we got Scummo remember?
I’m with you, Gai. As deeply satisfying as it is to watch Dutton look down and find he has wandered into a bog, i’ve been through too many horrible electoral surprises in the past. we absolutely cannot be complacent.
(Which, to be fair, is not what JB was saying, but the trauma reactions run deep.)
Nailed it again JB! You even managed to bring in those dastardly trade unfriendly penguins into it.
Like many here I am cautiously optimistic, I'm too scarred by 2019's Scomo 'miracle' win to be otherwise.
Having said that, I have been hoping that if Trump was going to be a crazed, nasty, incompenetant fascist bastard, he would do it in time for our elections and not warm up to it.*
Dutton was so "Look at me I'm Temu Trump"! Even had his own DOdGy team led by Jacinta Judas Price ready to go should he win.
Well how's that going for ya spud? You're old-school QLD copper wet dream is finally happening but suddenly it's not cool to join the Germany 1933 band wagon...bugger eh?
Yeah I'm enjoying watching him squirm.
It does make me wonder how Gina will go in the future, having done everything bar jump out of a birthday cake and sing 'Happy Birthday Mr President' for the Mango Mussolini--Your welcome for that image now in your head :)
*(I'm saying that understanding I can't be disappeared off the streets of an American city, or die because I can't get my health needs met or I die because something that was regulated is now a free for all, like flying or food) But if that was going to happen anyway, it would be good it happen on a timeline that prevented that shit starting here then that's a guilt I'm willing to wrestle with)
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. Fantastic narrative Rik!! Even the horrible mind’s eye visual of Gina jumping out of the Mango Mussolini’s birthday cake singing like Marilyn.
John, mate, I hate to break it to you but despite the shrill cries of the feral spawn of ageing NOLS drones, the election is not a 2 horse race… many more voters are voting for independents or third parties, and this is where the wildcard of whatever feral cooker tentacles have reached out and infected people’s social media plus sky news etc. will come into play… and possibly send enough preferences to the potato known as Voldemort to get him over the line into a minority right wing government. I am looking for a virgin to sacrifice in the hope that this does not occur, but deffo not counting my chickens just yet.
If you want details about what kind of hatemail literature the Libs will send in 'teal' electorates, let us know - we're already receiving it. They *really* hate Dr Ryan
Yes Richard, that’s my old stomping ground, used to be Mal Fraser’s squattocracy/squattocratic birthright.
It’s now ‘represented’ by local member drawling Dan Teghan. He is also a MP by birthright, his mother is former Liberal Senator Margaret Teghan. Devoid of substance, one can only assume he takes after his father’s side of the family. At least Margaret could form whole sentences.
I’m sure his former alma matur (probably Geelong Grammar) should be ashamed of this idiot; thick as two planks would be a compliment. Even Nodoze wouldn’t keep this drone awake. A kinder explanation of his deficiencies would be that a giant gum tree, uprooted by a slight breeze on the family farm, fell on his head a light breeze.
Unfortunately for Wannon and the Australian Parliament, Dutton’s dunce will probably be re-elected! Old habits die hard down that way.
It feels a bit like watching the house burn down while smiling knowing the Foxtel box is in there. Best trumpet yet "A collapsing orange supergiant of mental illness and morbid spite". Classic!
For me, the moment of realisation that Dutts was a freeloader came when he jumped on the No Voice bandwagon. It was then confirmed when he claimed credit for the outcome. We all know, Dutts (and Albo) included, that the outcome had nothing to do with anyone’s campaigning but all to do with innate racism in Australia. After that the Trump-lite persona made perfect sense.
Yesterday after the announcement Dutton was all “I stand shoulder to shoulder with the PM on this” and an hour later it was “it’s all Albo’s fault coz he be weak and me be strong ….” - what a standard of public discorse Mr Potatohead is providing.
Also, if I have to see that Liberal Party Election ad again with Dutton crapping on about what a good QLD copper he was, I think I may need a new TV.
I agree with you Dutton won’t get up. I don’t want another 4 years of Albo but Dutton just isn’t it. I want Mark Carney but he’s a bit busy at the moment with Canada.😊
Good one John. You did unearth some long repressed memories about 2001. Maybe this election we can finally be done with the garbage mode of politics we’ve had since then. It’s depressing to think that the course of this country was determined by the random meeting of a container ship and some refugees. If so, let’s pretend that Trump wasn’t the cause.
There was another little random ingredient in that campaign, which I have never heard anyone else talk about but which I remain personally convinced was a factor.
A day or two before the big Tampa performance started, there was a little news story about how a Queensland branch of the Libs party had been caught giving back channel advice to supporters on how to rort the GST, and that this was going to be investigated. I have thought ever since that the reason that Howard latched onto the Tampa business as hard as he did was because word had gone up the line about this, and they had gone looking for something that they could come out swinging about to suck up all the media oxygen. Then when the refugee thing blew out into a success beyond anything anyone could’ve predicted, they realised they had the new engine of their campaign and policy machines.
Like I say, probably just my personal headcanon, but there it is.
Sounds true to form. Nothing was beyond that bastard. I was working on getting some refugees out of a detention centre in SA at the time with some mates. It seems quaint and naive now. Once Tampa happened we knew it was over but not how bad it would get and how much money would be spent on it.
I watched Insiders this week - I don't normally, but the magnificent Laura Tingle was on - and David Speers absolutely laid into Patterson, which suggests that the normally reliably LNP apologist Speers has fled the Dutton sinking ship.
I can see why they send out Patterson, as he can almost convincingly lie at speed, unlike Dutton who still sounds like a policeman who ended up in the job because he wasn't smart enough to get an apprenticeship as a road hole digger. However, the date of the election shouldn't be a surprise, so why do they think they can get away with saying that they have almost finished their policies?
I love the smell of schadenfreude in the morning. Dutton's struggle to connect has been a rare bright spot in this campaign.
And the topper for the week was demanding all workers return to the workplace and stop working from home, then proudly asserting he'd be living in Kirribilli so he could... um... work from home.
I am cautiously optimistic JB. That said, no one has ever gone wrong underestimating the intelligence of the voting public...That's how we got Scummo remember?
I’m with you, Gai. As deeply satisfying as it is to watch Dutton look down and find he has wandered into a bog, i’ve been through too many horrible electoral surprises in the past. we absolutely cannot be complacent.
(Which, to be fair, is not what JB was saying, but the trauma reactions run deep.)
Does feel good. Cracker of a column, JB
Nailed it again JB! You even managed to bring in those dastardly trade unfriendly penguins into it.
Like many here I am cautiously optimistic, I'm too scarred by 2019's Scomo 'miracle' win to be otherwise.
Having said that, I have been hoping that if Trump was going to be a crazed, nasty, incompenetant fascist bastard, he would do it in time for our elections and not warm up to it.*
Dutton was so "Look at me I'm Temu Trump"! Even had his own DOdGy team led by Jacinta Judas Price ready to go should he win.
Well how's that going for ya spud? You're old-school QLD copper wet dream is finally happening but suddenly it's not cool to join the Germany 1933 band wagon...bugger eh?
Yeah I'm enjoying watching him squirm.
It does make me wonder how Gina will go in the future, having done everything bar jump out of a birthday cake and sing 'Happy Birthday Mr President' for the Mango Mussolini--Your welcome for that image now in your head :)
*(I'm saying that understanding I can't be disappeared off the streets of an American city, or die because I can't get my health needs met or I die because something that was regulated is now a free for all, like flying or food) But if that was going to happen anyway, it would be good it happen on a timeline that prevented that shit starting here then that's a guilt I'm willing to wrestle with)
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. Fantastic narrative Rik!! Even the horrible mind’s eye visual of Gina jumping out of the Mango Mussolini’s birthday cake singing like Marilyn.
John, mate, I hate to break it to you but despite the shrill cries of the feral spawn of ageing NOLS drones, the election is not a 2 horse race… many more voters are voting for independents or third parties, and this is where the wildcard of whatever feral cooker tentacles have reached out and infected people’s social media plus sky news etc. will come into play… and possibly send enough preferences to the potato known as Voldemort to get him over the line into a minority right wing government. I am looking for a virgin to sacrifice in the hope that this does not occur, but deffo not counting my chickens just yet.
You know this is a pretty good point and I should probably do a column on the other parties at some point
If you want details about what kind of hatemail literature the Libs will send in 'teal' electorates, let us know - we're already receiving it. They *really* hate Dr Ryan
The campaign by the Libs against Alex Dyson in Wannon (safe liberal since federation I think) has been running since January
Spot on as ever JB!
Yes Richard, that’s my old stomping ground, used to be Mal Fraser’s squattocracy/squattocratic birthright.
It’s now ‘represented’ by local member drawling Dan Teghan. He is also a MP by birthright, his mother is former Liberal Senator Margaret Teghan. Devoid of substance, one can only assume he takes after his father’s side of the family. At least Margaret could form whole sentences.
I’m sure his former alma matur (probably Geelong Grammar) should be ashamed of this idiot; thick as two planks would be a compliment. Even Nodoze wouldn’t keep this drone awake. A kinder explanation of his deficiencies would be that a giant gum tree, uprooted by a slight breeze on the family farm, fell on his head a light breeze.
Unfortunately for Wannon and the Australian Parliament, Dutton’s dunce will probably be re-elected! Old habits die hard down that way.
Please do
You know this is a pretty good point and I should probably do a column on the other parties at some point
Yesss!!! Insightful and entertaining…. PUP etc.
It feels a bit like watching the house burn down while smiling knowing the Foxtel box is in there. Best trumpet yet "A collapsing orange supergiant of mental illness and morbid spite". Classic!
For me, the moment of realisation that Dutts was a freeloader came when he jumped on the No Voice bandwagon. It was then confirmed when he claimed credit for the outcome. We all know, Dutts (and Albo) included, that the outcome had nothing to do with anyone’s campaigning but all to do with innate racism in Australia. After that the Trump-lite persona made perfect sense.
Hahahahahahaha !!!!
Yesterday after the announcement Dutton was all “I stand shoulder to shoulder with the PM on this” and an hour later it was “it’s all Albo’s fault coz he be weak and me be strong ….” - what a standard of public discorse Mr Potatohead is providing.
Also, if I have to see that Liberal Party Election ad again with Dutton crapping on about what a good QLD copper he was, I think I may need a new TV.
Those Heard and MacDonald Island Penguins? They only have themselves to blame. Fuck those penguins.
That's what they get for cooking up all that fentanyl and drug running into Trumpland.
Is it just me or does spud have a sheen of desperate sweat on him during interviews now?
Exquisitely crafted. *chef's kiss*
I agree with you Dutton won’t get up. I don’t want another 4 years of Albo but Dutton just isn’t it. I want Mark Carney but he’s a bit busy at the moment with Canada.😊
I’m in Canada and I want us to have Mark Carney too!
Good one John. You did unearth some long repressed memories about 2001. Maybe this election we can finally be done with the garbage mode of politics we’ve had since then. It’s depressing to think that the course of this country was determined by the random meeting of a container ship and some refugees. If so, let’s pretend that Trump wasn’t the cause.
There was another little random ingredient in that campaign, which I have never heard anyone else talk about but which I remain personally convinced was a factor.
A day or two before the big Tampa performance started, there was a little news story about how a Queensland branch of the Libs party had been caught giving back channel advice to supporters on how to rort the GST, and that this was going to be investigated. I have thought ever since that the reason that Howard latched onto the Tampa business as hard as he did was because word had gone up the line about this, and they had gone looking for something that they could come out swinging about to suck up all the media oxygen. Then when the refugee thing blew out into a success beyond anything anyone could’ve predicted, they realised they had the new engine of their campaign and policy machines.
Like I say, probably just my personal headcanon, but there it is.
Sounds true to form. Nothing was beyond that bastard. I was working on getting some refugees out of a detention centre in SA at the time with some mates. It seems quaint and naive now. Once Tampa happened we knew it was over but not how bad it would get and how much money would be spent on it.
And he’s claiming he woulda done better than Albo on the tariffs when we now know it’s all the result of some fucked up algorithm/formula.
I watched Insiders this week - I don't normally, but the magnificent Laura Tingle was on - and David Speers absolutely laid into Patterson, which suggests that the normally reliably LNP apologist Speers has fled the Dutton sinking ship.
I can see why they send out Patterson, as he can almost convincingly lie at speed, unlike Dutton who still sounds like a policeman who ended up in the job because he wasn't smart enough to get an apprenticeship as a road hole digger. However, the date of the election shouldn't be a surprise, so why do they think they can get away with saying that they have almost finished their policies?
I watched that one too. Patterson very carefully very quietly mentions the spot market caveat. Just once. But he got it in there.