Memorandum of Compliance for Top Rating Popular Interview Between His Excellency Vladimir Putin and Comrade of the First Rank Tucker Carlson

This Memorandum of Compliance ("Memorandum") is entered into on this date, by and between the Office of His Excellency Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, hereafter referred to as His Excellency and Comrade of the First Rank Tucker Carlson, hereafter referred to as "Most Useful Idiot."

Whereas, His Excellency has graciously consented to grant interview to Most Useful Idiot, subject to the terms and conditions set forth herein;

Whereas, Most Useful Idiot has agreed to conduct himself in manner befitting gravity and prestige of interviewing His Excellency, and acknowledging the rare privilege bestowed upon him;

Now, Therefore, the parties agree as follows:

1. Interview Format and Content

1.1. The Interview shall consist only of most carefully curated questions written by His Excellency's Federal Security Service and spoken into words by Most Useful Idiot. Spontaneity is to be allowed only when strictly pre-approved.

1.2. Topics for discussion will exclusively highlight the benevolence, strategic genius, and enviable physique of His Excellency. Any deviation will result in immediate cessation of the interview and expansion of punishment battalion population in liberated Ukrainian territories by number of one Most Useful Idiot.

1.3. Laughter is permitted but only if His Excellency initiates or approves jestful drollery.

2. Dress Code

2.1. The Most Useful Idiot is required to wear attire that reflects respect towards His Excellency. Bow tie must be of non-spinning variety.

2.2. His Excellency will wear skin of Most Useful Idiot if bow tie spins even once.

3. Language and Tone

3.1. The Most Useful Idiot shall address His Excellency as "Your Excellency" at all times.

3.2. All questions or comments shall be phrased in manner that underscores Most Useful Idiot's unwavering admiration for His Excellency because all questions or comments shall be written by His Excellency’s apparatchiks.

4. Editorial Control

4.1. His Excellency's office shall have full editorial control over final broadcast of interview. This includes but is not limited to, the right to edit, omit, or completely make up any part of interview footages especially when His Excellency is shirtless on back of horse.

4.2. The Most Useful Idiot agrees to promote interview on former Twitter Bird Website of Second Most Useful but Irritatingly Unmanageable Idiot Comrade Musk in manner that befits grandeur of His Excellency's virile persona and promotes furtherance of His Excellency's strategic genius.

5. Security Protocols

5.1. The Most Useful Idiot consents to thorough threat assessment by His Excellency's security services, including but not limited to usual surveillance protocols.

5.2. For purposes of Memorandum usual surveillance protocols are acknowledged to include location of Most Useful Idiot’s immediate family members and proximity to nearest conveniently open window not less than five storeys from ground level.

6. Intellectual Property

6.1. All content generated from interview, including but not limited to audio, video, and written transcripts, shall be considered sole property of His Excellency with Most Useful Idiot granted one-time use license for broadcast of interview on Twitter Bird Website, subject to all conditions outlined herein and any more His Excellency might imagine at any time.

6.2. Most Useful Idiot is also to be considered sole property of His Excellency from execution of this Memorandum to execution of Most Useful Idiot or whichever comes first.

7. Breach of Agreement

7.1. Any breach of this Memorandum by Most Useful Idiot is most amusing fantasy. His Excellency chuckles at very idea of it.

In Witness Whereof, the parties hereto have executed this Memorandum as of the date first above written.