Joshy died with my felafel in his hand. We found him on a bean bag floating in the pool out the back of the Lodge, half of my felafel halfway down his throat. Joshy snuck out there to scoff it down cos he’s shifty like that. We really took this guy in desperation cos of lockdown. He wasn’t A-list, didn’t have a microwave or anything like that, and now both he and my felafel roll were cold. Our first dead treasurer. At least we got some money off him. Not like all those loser universities, eh?
Annabel Crabb wonders out loud how it can be that one can be arrested for sitting on a park bench but remain Treasurer have microwaved a schnitty.
Nothing says "old white men" like not knowing how to cook. Actually, all these blokes are younger than me and I and my male friends are pretty handy in the kitchen. Correction: nothing says "old white men from a privileged background and continuing to live in a patriarchy bubble" like not knowing how to cook. They need to get their Nat's What I Reckon on.
Remember when Annabel was hosting her warm & fuzzies "Kitchen Cabinet" and making all the reptiles of our National Parliament appear soft & cuddly - (it was either her episode with the suppository-of-wisdom - or with his cigar-chomper crocodile-tears man later heading off to the swamp of Washington DC and his questionable spivvy life there) but all those lads (He! He! He!) shared a house in Canberra - all receiving hefty per diems for the hardship of living-away-from-home (and never having to turn in receipts as proof)! The descriptions of their lives together (cue more laughter of the "boys-will-be-boys" variety) bears a very strong resemblance to your writing here John. I reckon you were the-fly-on-the-wall back then! AND IT STILL CLEARLY GOES ON! 本当に大変ありがたいと思いますよ！(Secret code for Rooly-trooly I want to thank you!)
Things sure are a bit crap. Love the TV trippin with lizards, and the dark room dark faces not doing much: "Or sitting on the empty lounge room floor in home-brand underwear and Hi-Viz vests with all the curtains closed and their faces blacked out by shoe polish… Not doing much. Just sitting there."
There was a back up plan in case the falafel didn't do the deed, the Labor Party had glued a mirror to the bottom of the swimming pool.
Greedy Harvey had organised a billionaires banquet to reward the functionaries who served them so well during the pandemic. The entertainment consisted of Gina Ironheart giving lap dances for a six figure sum and Julie Bishop performing the dance of the seven veils.
The prize for being able to pocket $80 millon from the budget emergency went to Angry Angus.
His last will and testament stipulates that his ashes be scattered on the lawn of his holiday home in the Caymen Islands and water from the Murray Darling be place in a glass vial to be passed down through the male line of the Taylor dynasty.
The Canberra Boys Club, there are no girls, found that the Bronwyn helicopter was gathering dust and decided to fly over western Sydney, throwing truffles at the weary gig workers below. This was facilitated by a little known clause, which states that, they can get away with anything because our partners in crime, News Corp will play ball if another multi six figure sum can be gifted to Foxtel to promote the nascient sport of womens yodeling.
The ex Defence Minister defended his sinecure at Ey as saving the world for Murdochracy. The board of directors dissuaded him from riding atop a tank through the streets of Kabul as Ey were about to sell lots of weapons of mass destruction to whoever was in power at the time Meanwhile the photo of Snotty munching into a dogs eye had vegan activists massing on Twiter, graffiti with grammar, to sign a petition to have all butchers declared a threat to something or other.
AUSTRAC has now discovered that all those $100 dollar bills were not in the hands of money launders, drug dealers or Cayman Island safety deposit boxes, but stashed in Morries cubby house. The treasurer has said it's ok because Snotty was keeping it there until he took it to the Reserve Bank, when it opens on monday.
Having run out of different sorts of tradies caps, to make him look human, our glorious leader for life, has taken to wearing a Hawaiian garland as a sop to the greenie vote. The liberal Party has now declared that the cause of global warming is Melania Trump, because she is so smoking hot.
After the billious billionaires banquet the inner circle adjourned to the house on the hill for a good old private school shindig. During the revelry a glass topped coffee table was reduced to splinters of glass and wood. The copious amount of absinthe that Lord Snooty and his pals quaffed had resulted in an out break of amnesia as to the culprit. However a jolly prankster had stuck a note on the back of Barny Rubbles jacket that said " It was me, but don't tell my wife, the new one, not the old one"
The death of jocular Josh has been pinned on the non english speaeking, illegal immigrant, pool boy who was duped into signing a confession on the proviso that he would not be shipped back to whatever country that America decides to invade next.
He's being slow, alright. The Lord is clearly sending him a message. So obvious once you think about it. The lovely Hazel Houston choked at a Macca's. Is the Lord reminding Our PM of his own road to damaccas moment? And Hazel was mum to Brian. Brian - Brian Jones, pool, geddit?
Not sure I do, not quite, but then I'm not blessed and special like Our PM. There has to be a Message in all this. Like when your kid is born on 07/07/2007. Obvious as. Come on mate, don't make Him have killed Joshy in vain. Maybe get Brian over for an artisanal beverage (because he's a classy bloke) and a chat? Or more: he probably has an air fryer.
Annabel Crabb wonders out loud how it can be that one can be arrested for sitting on a park bench but remain Treasurer have microwaved a schnitty.
Nothing says "old white men" like not knowing how to cook. Actually, all these blokes are younger than me and I and my male friends are pretty handy in the kitchen. Correction: nothing says "old white men from a privileged background and continuing to live in a patriarchy bubble" like not knowing how to cook. They need to get their Nat's What I Reckon on.
The fact Josh is my MP is the 2nd most embarrassing thing in my political landscape.
Number one spot is taken by my state MP, who makes Josh look like Jacinda Ardern
Remember when Annabel was hosting her warm & fuzzies "Kitchen Cabinet" and making all the reptiles of our National Parliament appear soft & cuddly - (it was either her episode with the suppository-of-wisdom - or with his cigar-chomper crocodile-tears man later heading off to the swamp of Washington DC and his questionable spivvy life there) but all those lads (He! He! He!) shared a house in Canberra - all receiving hefty per diems for the hardship of living-away-from-home (and never having to turn in receipts as proof)! The descriptions of their lives together (cue more laughter of the "boys-will-be-boys" variety) bears a very strong resemblance to your writing here John. I reckon you were the-fly-on-the-wall back then! AND IT STILL CLEARLY GOES ON! 本当に大変ありがたいと思いますよ！(Secret code for Rooly-trooly I want to thank you!)
Things sure are a bit crap. Love the TV trippin with lizards, and the dark room dark faces not doing much: "Or sitting on the empty lounge room floor in home-brand underwear and Hi-Viz vests with all the curtains closed and their faces blacked out by shoe polish… Not doing much. Just sitting there."
Solid gold JB.
There was a back up plan in case the falafel didn't do the deed, the Labor Party had glued a mirror to the bottom of the swimming pool.
Greedy Harvey had organised a billionaires banquet to reward the functionaries who served them so well during the pandemic. The entertainment consisted of Gina Ironheart giving lap dances for a six figure sum and Julie Bishop performing the dance of the seven veils.
The prize for being able to pocket $80 millon from the budget emergency went to Angry Angus.
His last will and testament stipulates that his ashes be scattered on the lawn of his holiday home in the Caymen Islands and water from the Murray Darling be place in a glass vial to be passed down through the male line of the Taylor dynasty.
The Canberra Boys Club, there are no girls, found that the Bronwyn helicopter was gathering dust and decided to fly over western Sydney, throwing truffles at the weary gig workers below. This was facilitated by a little known clause, which states that, they can get away with anything because our partners in crime, News Corp will play ball if another multi six figure sum can be gifted to Foxtel to promote the nascient sport of womens yodeling.
The ex Defence Minister defended his sinecure at Ey as saving the world for Murdochracy. The board of directors dissuaded him from riding atop a tank through the streets of Kabul as Ey were about to sell lots of weapons of mass destruction to whoever was in power at the time Meanwhile the photo of Snotty munching into a dogs eye had vegan activists massing on Twiter, graffiti with grammar, to sign a petition to have all butchers declared a threat to something or other.
AUSTRAC has now discovered that all those $100 dollar bills were not in the hands of money launders, drug dealers or Cayman Island safety deposit boxes, but stashed in Morries cubby house. The treasurer has said it's ok because Snotty was keeping it there until he took it to the Reserve Bank, when it opens on monday.
Having run out of different sorts of tradies caps, to make him look human, our glorious leader for life, has taken to wearing a Hawaiian garland as a sop to the greenie vote. The liberal Party has now declared that the cause of global warming is Melania Trump, because she is so smoking hot.
After the billious billionaires banquet the inner circle adjourned to the house on the hill for a good old private school shindig. During the revelry a glass topped coffee table was reduced to splinters of glass and wood. The copious amount of absinthe that Lord Snooty and his pals quaffed had resulted in an out break of amnesia as to the culprit. However a jolly prankster had stuck a note on the back of Barny Rubbles jacket that said " It was me, but don't tell my wife, the new one, not the old one"
The death of jocular Josh has been pinned on the non english speaeking, illegal immigrant, pool boy who was duped into signing a confession on the proviso that he would not be shipped back to whatever country that America decides to invade next.
He's being slow, alright. The Lord is clearly sending him a message. So obvious once you think about it. The lovely Hazel Houston choked at a Macca's. Is the Lord reminding Our PM of his own road to damaccas moment? And Hazel was mum to Brian. Brian - Brian Jones, pool, geddit?
Not sure I do, not quite, but then I'm not blessed and special like Our PM. There has to be a Message in all this. Like when your kid is born on 07/07/2007. Obvious as. Come on mate, don't make Him have killed Joshy in vain. Maybe get Brian over for an artisanal beverage (because he's a classy bloke) and a chat? Or more: he probably has an air fryer.