So you've decided to dress up as a Nazi.
Congratulations on taking this pamphlet, and double-plus congratulations on reading it! You are indeed the one per cent of the one per cent. Unfortunately, membership in your very exclusive club—Public Figures Who Dressed Up As Nazis—is not necessarily the first step on the happy staircase to success.
The first step is Don’t Panic.
A surprising number of public figures have dressed up as Nazis, and while many of them, admittedly, were actual Nazis, an even more surprising number were not.
Some, like Prince Harry, were genuinely noteworthy figures before they costumed themselves as minor functionaries of a fallen genocidal regime. Some, such as the premier of New South Wales, meh, not so much.
Having been smart enough to take this pamphlet but not quite smart enough to avoid leaning so far fascist-forward into your fresh new look, let’s take a moment to assess the situation.
Why did you dress up as a Nazi?
Was it for a Halloween Party, perhaps?
Did you go as a zombie who just happened to have been a Nazi in a former life?
If so, you’re in the clear. You dressed up as a movie monster.
If not, were you in any way misled by your wretched brother William and his scheming Becky Sharp of a bride-to-be into pulling on the jackboots and black jodhpurs for some fancy dress kegger? Think carefully. There could be a Netflix deal and a book contract for you in this.
Assuming you weren’t so dangerously stupid as to Hitler-up for a significant personal celebration, such as your 21st birthday party, the situation is probably salvageable.
The best course of action would be to admit you made a terrible mistake and further reveal that you were suffering from at least two or three diagnosable mental illnesses at the time. With a bit of luck, the swastika-shaped hole which has suddenly opened up in your public reputation will be filled by a hyper-accelerated daily news cycle.
On which topic, I’m not going to comment on the death of George Pell because I don’t want to ruin anyone’s holiday buzz by dragging his stinking carcass through here.
But I will leave this for those who celebrate.
___
Also, a reminder that next week we’ll do the first ASB book club.
What an interesting revelation admission apology from DP. Although given his family's association with the Opus Dei fascist Spanish Catholic order (check out UNSW Warrane College) and support for Franco - who numbered the Nazis among his mates - think Guernica and Pablo Picasso's tribute to that bombed-to-smithereens town - it is not so surprising that young Dom might put on the sharp black-and-silver trappings of an SS uniform. And thanks again for Tim Minchin's little song. And blessings to Louise Milligan and all those who otherwise suffer, triggered by the ugly Abbott, Howard, Dutton and Murdoch attack hounds rising up to deify Pell. It is obscene!
I was agog with indifference to hear of his demise.