The end of the world, you’ve been doing it wrong

Well do I recall my grave concern, as the ‘rona started to spread through the lumpen proletariat, that it might somehow reach me behind the electrified razor wire of my private estate. What if one of the staff should become infected and sneeze on my caviar breakfast pikelets?

It was a real concern.

Thankfully, Mike Bloomberg’s eponymous news service was there to assure Mike, me and all of the residents-in-absentia of the world’s finest tax havens that even if we had to make a run for the super yacht, we could reach it safely without some dreadful gasping poor person clawing at our tailored pant leg as we hurried through the dead and dying.

A breaking news item on Bloomberg revealed that Global aviation company VistaJet has a solution. 

“Spurred by member demand, clients can reserve a freshly sanitized jet to fly them to a yacht moored in Malta.”

Huzzah! We are saved!

This is a most elegant solution since Malta been given an A1 rating by the World Health Organisation as all but free of infection, and a double plus A1 rating by the Big 5 accounting firms for being similarly free of tax laws. 

Free, really, of any expectation that a fellow in possession of a lazy billion contribute anything more than berthing fees at the Royal Maltese Yacht Squadron, and the occasional round of drinks in the Chairman’s Lounge of the Colonial Bounders Club.

There’s no need to worry about visas or such like. A legitimate Maltese passport can be your’s for a $1.3M in cash or kind.

So I don’t know why you lot are complaining about lockdowns and restrictions. Like myself, Rupert, Gina and Mike Bloomberg, you are perfectly free to take a sanitised Lear Jet to your private yacht in virus free Malta.