27 Comments

Ohohohohoooo you are BACK IN THE ROOM, JB. Teeheee ‘ Fake Tan Thanos and his beardy minion boy Mountain Dew Junior’.

🤣🤣🤣

I want front row tickets to the Kamala vs Trump debate. Cannot cannot wait. You’re right, I’ll be blown away if the States let a woman (!) of colour (double gasp) become president, but she’s going to lick him upside down with her lawyer mouth before the end of this year. Blockbuster series coming up :)

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Kamala's lines write themselves: "I prosecuted felons, you are a felon. I prosecuted rapists, you are a rapist. I prosecuted sex-traffickers, you scoped the dance floor with sex-traffickers". Her ethnic origins and gender are making the MAGA cult froth hysterically. The more MAGA say she is a DEI hire, the more they alienate independent voters. Normal people see her as a hard-working and highly capable (regardless of their views on her politics).

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Did you punch the phrase "shambolic fustercluck of sparkly unicorn poop thrown into a ceiling fan" into and AI and that was what came out?

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author

Haha yesss!

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To be fair, as Bill Hayden remarked at the time, a drover's dog could've beaten Fraser in 1983.

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Jul 26Liked by John Birmingham

Grimdark and cthulhu - you read a bunch of trash in your twenties didn't you.

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WH40K and the TTRPG Call of Cthulhu. We can smell our own.

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haha Cheeto Dust Hitler. Can't see what you're apologising for JB.

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Mwah-hahahahahaaaa!!!

Lying in a hospital bed, getting acquainted with the titanium spare parts now forming most of my left left knee, I thought the ‘clicker’ had malfunctioned and allowed me too much endone, when I heard a faint disembodied voice say that “Carmella Harris” is the Democrat nominee for President of the United States in the November election.

Patients don’t watch their tv anymore, preferring to talk loudly enough for family in another country to hear them without a telephone connection, or silently doomscrolling until the pain killers knock them out. So I forgot in my dream that tv even still exists. The last news I’d heard/dreamt, Obama was reported to have told Joe to sleep this one out.

I still wasn’t sure it was true when I heard some incomprehensible words including “Carmella” from the Great Mouldy Orange head. I pressed the clicker again. Endone does strange things to your brain! The most vivid dreams and nightmares I’ve experienced in decades.

Imagine my relief when that particular fever dream turned out to be true!

I rose from my bed and strode unaided from the hospital, a minor medical miracle, buoyed by the hope that the world may not come to an end before Xmas.

It would be great if everyone could learn how to pronounce Kamala by then, but I don’t really gaf.

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Perfection. Then Gladys and the 9 staff walking out when things got a bit tough for them.

A great day. I might go to the pub.

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Couldn't agree more! From real sadness at Joe's stepping down to real excitement at Kamala's swift rise - it's been a week!! I still think Joe would have beaten trumpty ( polls have been waaaaay out for the last what, 15 years? See ' the red wave of 22 ' ), but I now think Kamala will utterly humiliate him - & who could want more ? 🤣🤣

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I wish / hope that you're right. Your resurgent hope for the triumph of sanity is almost inspiring. I've been largely off the air too but I have zero faith in the intelligence and charity of American white women. That's where this is going to be fought and it will be goodbye Kamila. Therefore I'm not investing too much hope in this. They will treat the poor woman like the worst kind of crap and I can't watch it too closely

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I scarcely think white American *men* will display more intelligence and charity: don't forget that they voted for Trump in the highest percentages in 2016

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You're right. Only the female vote can get her over the line. Maybe they will and I'll be wrong again hopefully. Really disappointed to see some of the t shirt slogans about her. It makes me very sad to see that sort of thing again. She's got little kids that are going to see this stuff.

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Not to mention the white working class male union and tradie types who were firmly in Joe's pocket. A government prosecutor on top of all. I expect many of them to not vote, or vote against, unless the campaign is somehow next-level convincing. Don't want to make predictions, myself.

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Being white, wcmutt and firmly in Joe's pocket myself I'd never thought of that. So much for self awareness. And I'd almost forgotten the reaction of my fellow white men to the voice referendum. Far from empowering black Asian women into political life, I fear that most young women will witness what's about to happen and run screaming from it.

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No couch jokes? It was *right there*

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Agreed. I cannot get enough of the Kalama Harris news.

I reckon, building on the great groundwork the Biden administration has done/will do, a Harris administration has a chance of shifting the trajectory from 'murica and towards USA.

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Love it.

This past week has been like waking up after a massive weekend long bender and expecting the worst when you open your squinty eyes in the harsh morning sunlight, only to pleasantly and surprisedly discover that there is no headache, no cotton mouth, no booze/drug aftermath at all.

PS: Best use of phrasing for AI generated art ever.

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Whacky, hilarious and so right. Thanks JB.

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LOL JB!

The Portuguese have a saying"Fim do mundo em cuecas" -The end of the world in underpants-

Up until last week I considered things to lost and far gone for even this bit of sardonic Lusophone humour.

As it turn out -this saying is quite apt once again, infact it's quite possible said undies could be fresh, colourful and come with a voucher for a free icecream cone!

Feel free to break glass and use said saying incase of writerly emergency (Icecream's on me!)

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I simply hope I’ve enough popcorn in the house for these next few months of reality television. I doubt Trump will front up to debate Harris but I certainly hope his narcissism compels him to do it, and if so, I might actually tune in for the first time

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Imagine the hay the Dems will make of it if he doesn't tho! :-)

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