42 Comments
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wendygai's avatar

All good, JB... just missing the suggestion that Barron Trump finds employment as a conning tower.

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Megan's avatar

The most alarming three words in this treatise are "Prime Minister Dutton"

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Nigel's avatar

The irony is that the standard version of the French sub (a modified version we were going to buy) aka the Suffren class you can buy off the shelf from the French today, is already nuclear powered, also supports long range land attack missiles and is actually cheaper than a Virginia class. As for language conversion, the language checkbox for software UI gets ticked with English instead of French. And it actually comes from a country that will still be a potential ally in 12 months time, unlike the Dictatorship of Trumpistan.

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Mark Phillips's avatar

Thank goodness the Kiwis let Australia off lightly as they could have also forced us to sign away rights to the flat white and the Lamington.

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Ginger Cat's avatar

Surprised they didn't demand the return of the taxidermied Phar Lap

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isabel robinson's avatar

What about the one I dream about?

Albanese, emboldened by his unexpected second term, scraps the AUKUS deal, tells Trump the $800m plus already handed over was compensation in advance so now he can fuck off, and then spends the remainder of the billions tied to the deal in really fixing education, health and other infrastructure (hello, inter-city fast trains!), and for defence gets what's left of our very capable tech brigade to come up with solar powered long-range drones that can scan the skies and seas for potential invaders (hello, China's naval war-games 600kms offshore from where I live) and dispense with hostile forces with Australian-made, newly developed super-advanced laser weapons.

Oh, sorry, JB, the title included the word "likely". Damn!

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Elana Mitchell's avatar

I led the review and update of the Australian Democrats defence policy, and now I'm tempted to update it again with point #9 😂

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Valerie Kennedy's avatar

Do it!

That’s a lot of moving targets, and they can operate in shallow waters 😉😂

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Elana Mitchell's avatar

I love this 🤣

We have a national conference in Sydney on March 15 and I’m presenting on the defence platform, I’ll slip it in and see if anyone notices 😂

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AusMossy's avatar

I really hope option 9 gets up

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Dave Irving's avatar

Yes, it's the navy Australia needs.

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Nigel Bowen's avatar

I, for one, am happy to answer my nation's call and proudly wear my Bintang singlet into (naval) battle.

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Veganpuncher's avatar

JB for CN!

If you renamed the Navy Reserves the 'North Beach Jetski Club' and set up a depot/bar on every beach in the land, you'd solve the RAN recruiting problems in a day. You wouldn't even have to pay them: they'd just get some cans in, see a rusty, old DDG just sitting there in the yards and start calling their mates and backing up the ute with the biggest sound system.

OTYBL

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Evan Hughes's avatar

This might actually work.

Oh, who am I kidding, it'd DEFINITELY work!

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insomniac's avatar

The list of demands in item 6 appear perfectly reasonable, and should be actioned with or without the accompanying fleet of submersibles.

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Beeso's avatar

Number 10 seems unlikely

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John Birmingham's avatar

It’s literally the Least Likely.

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Marcus Collins's avatar

I been closely following the fallout from the announcement of AuKus or ANZUS +1 -1. The French sub deal was substandard at best, no reason to let the project to continue to flounder just because of the sunk costs. The Australian government was right to scuttle it however the way they torpedoed the deal was poor and the French had every right to go ballistic. There is also the question of the decision to go nuclear and if it will cause a chain reaction leading to a new arms race in Asia. Going nuclear is a big step for Australia and I'm surprised that the Australian Greens haven't gone into meltdown.

I really doubt this will seriously damage the Australia China relationship, PRC politicos are above all pragmatic so and damage i think will only be fleeting. I really got the wind in my sails on this topic.

Cheers

Marcus

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John D. Pearce's avatar

Thanks for the chuckles. And the sad knowledge that it’s probably gonna happen.

“Mar-a-Lagon Empire”, indeed!

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Carol Sutherland's avatar

Fabulous fantastic and funny !!! Thank you mate .

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Michael's avatar

You couldn’t make this stuff up !

What ???? You did ? Nah.

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PeterMc's avatar

Great JB.

I love your fantasy, sci-fi etc, but you have gone too far with number 10.

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Jim KABLE's avatar

Good for a chuckle, JB. Within which a horror story should it so unfold!

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