I knew Dutts would come through for me. I’ll admit to some passing anxiety at having nothing to write about for the next three years, but shame on me.
Shame on me for doubting that a belligerent lumpen-spud with the brutish instincts of a Queensland copper and the curriculum vitae of a Queensland copper would double down on what he knows best. Snitches get stitches, and balls are for stomping, even when the steel cap is coming down on your own meat clackers.
Watching a bloke kick himself in the nuts this hard is a helluva thing. If it wasn’t for the pics, you wouldn’t think it was anatomically possible, but there he was during the debate on the Climate Change Bill this week, lining up an enormous punt right into his own ‘nads.
“It’s high time,” the Maximum Tuber declared, “that Australia had an honest and informed debate on the benefits and costs of nuclear energy.”
And he wasn’t wrong if, by High Time, Dutts meant the long hours he must have spent huffing on the Crazy Bong before he meandered out onto the floor of the Reps to lay this chunky steamer on the House.
It’s like these guys got such an epic beat down at the last election they’re still dangerously concussed and unable to say how many fingers the team doctor is holding up.
It’s one finger, Spud. The digitus fuqudickus. And that’s not the team doctor; it’s the crushing majority of millions of voters who beat your arse like a drum because they’re over your bullshit climate change denial.
But by all means, let’s have an honest and informed debate on the benefits and costs of nuclear energy.
The benefits seem limited to trolling subscribers of The Saturday Paper.
The costs, as most recently determined just two weeks ago by the CSIRO and AEMO, run to way more than renewables. That report found that a nuclear-powered grid, which would have to be built up from nothing, would be so expensive it would need to be heavily subsidised by the taxpayer. And this is even after costs of greenhouse gas emissions are explicitly factored in – a process the Coalition regards as heretical.
Not only does the sight gag of Dutts endlessly stepping on a rake never stop being funny, the lulz are amplified by the small band of Libs desperately waving and shouting, “Dutts! Don’t step on that rake!”
Simon Birmingham—No relation, honest, this is embarrassing for both of us—tried to get the party room to back an amendment to Labor’s bill that would have mandated the publication of energy price projections alongside reports on progress towards emission reductions.
It wasn’t the dumbest thing ever.
It would have revealed the direct effect of any emissions reduction target on the real economy.
No, the dumbest thing ever was Dutts going, yeah, nah, and swapping out ScoMo’s big lump of coal for a glowing, green rod of highly enriched plutonium, which he’ll be bringing to the debate any minute now.
As Katherine Murphy points out, the Coalition was in office for nine years. It had the power to progress a domestic nuclear industry. But it didn’t do that. Instead, says Murph, it weaponised a bunch of bullocks.
This week, they didn’t just vote against the ALP’s barely adequate emissions cuts without even proposing amendments. They tried to shoot down amendments proposed by the indies to direct climate funding to the regions. In other words, the Nationals voted to take money away from farmers because they weren’t the ones signing the cheque. The same way the Libs voted a big fuck you to the Teal voters who abandoned them at the booth.
But I’m sure that’ll work out for them next time.
The Hell of it is that there’s a way out of this trap. No iron law of politics says they must stay wedded to denial and obstruction. The switch to green energy will create a trillion-dollar global industry in which Australia enjoys immense natural advantages.
Any competent conservative would be looking at that emerging market thinking, ‘How can I help my mates make billions of dollars here and pay no tax on it?”
But Dutts is neither competent nor conservative on this issue.
On the subject of heavy taxpayer subsidies for nuclear: never let a nuclear-proponent get away from their argument without getting them to tell you how profitable the existing nuclear plants are, around the world. Here's a hint: not. Not a single nuclear plant has _ever_ turned a profit over their working lifetimes. In fact, not one has even got to within $1B of a positive balance sheet. The only reason that any country builds nuclear power plants is that they want to build nuclear weapons with the left-overs, and can justify the expense from the military budget. Perhaps Japan is an exception because they don't have any coal either, and aren't allowed to build bombs. But the general rule holds.
The largest manufacturer of nuclear reactors, Westinghouse, went bankrupt in 2017, dragged down by a couple of plants going much more over their budgets than expected...
Yeah this is the same mob who on getting their collective arses handed to them by progressive candidates go, " Yeah we were definitely not far right enough" *facepalm *
Now I'll never able to think of Dutton with quite so much fear anymore. I've been weirdly afraid of what he can do next, but he keeps forgetting to read world news or do his homework at the moment, so he's going to faaaaaiiiiiil. xx
Your title had me immediately thinking of Buster Gonad and his Unfeasiblly Large Testicles, from Viz Magazine. Imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be about Dutts. Buster carried his around in a wheelbarrow, but I think Dutts carries his around on his shoulders!
In a week of ridiculous nonsense from the LNP (it's hard to consider them a credible opposition, they come across more like the argument sketch from Monty Python "Man: I came here for a good argument.
LNP: No you didn't; no, you came here for an argument.
Man: An argument isn't just contradiction.
LNP: It can be.
Man: No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
LNP: No it isn't.
Man: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.
LNP: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
Man: Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'
LNP: Yes it is!)
I suspect the Teals, and other less loony independents - Not you Ms Hanson, and the Greens will be a more credible opposition in this term. But I would like to single out Barnaby Joyce's truly blue sky omnishambles of a speech. WTF was that, I mean sure his shafting of an amendment to support the region is business as usual for Barnaby but that speech. "“What, we’re the wisest one on the planet are we? Or are we once more going to leave ourselves in the previous century as the whole world moves on with the technology, with the jobs, with all that is before them in a new opening industry of small modular nuclear energy reactors.”
After this week I am pretty sure there will be material for you JB for the next few years.
The elephant in the containment vessel is a subject that rarely gets mentioned.
No insurance company will issue cover in the event that the top blows off and covers the whole downwind area, in the equivalent of industrial grade Round-Up, and a whole range of other little nasties, with polysyllabic names.
Therefore our government becomes the default insurer. As history tells us any remuneration that may be awarded by our esteemed overlords, will be lower than the yearly wage of an Indian untouchable.
As an aside has any Small Modular Reactor actually been built yet? That old maxim, never buy the mark one of anything, let some other poor buggers be the crash test dummy, definitely applies in this case.
I think nuclear fusion will be a goer one day but all I'm interested in is a hydrogen powered motorbike. I want two wheel drive, a slipper clutch and a top speed of fkn heaps!
He's a very green spud, poisonous of course. Have a gander at France, rivers too warm, flows too low, huge output cuts for nuclear power during heatwaves. We wouldn't have those problems at all.
Queenslanders are a strange breed, they are always a few decades behind the rest of the country. Airlines pilots would often tell that old joke to the passengers over the cabin speakers. We will be landing in Brisbane shortly, the weather is a balmy twenty-eight, and don't forget to turn your watches back fifty years.
Poor old pathetic Pete is still concussed, as you say, from realising that having stacked all the influential department heads and the prime minister's office with Murdoch's minions, and a Delaware-based media conglomerate that bestrode the daily dialogue, like the colossus of Rhodes. Even now old prune face Vader is plotting his revenge on a recalcitrant electorate. Not even John Howard's and Peter Costello's conclave with the big Kahuna of the Exclusive Brethren, Bruce Hales himself, should that be Hades, was enough to swing the election with the big boss in the sky's imprimatur.
Bald pated Petes thought bubble that nuclear power was the way to attract some new donors, for the Parakeelia vault, with a promise of billions in subsidies of our money, was the panacea that would solve decades of cognitive dissonance.
I'm all for the discussion, but presently there is no native nuclear industry. We'd be importing the lot. Such a clever idea. Lower initial overheads to make renewables natively. Especially if batteries keep improving and hydrogen storage materials are developed locally (yes our underfunded Unis are still capable of breakthroughs.)
On the subject of heavy taxpayer subsidies for nuclear: never let a nuclear-proponent get away from their argument without getting them to tell you how profitable the existing nuclear plants are, around the world. Here's a hint: not. Not a single nuclear plant has _ever_ turned a profit over their working lifetimes. In fact, not one has even got to within $1B of a positive balance sheet. The only reason that any country builds nuclear power plants is that they want to build nuclear weapons with the left-overs, and can justify the expense from the military budget. Perhaps Japan is an exception because they don't have any coal either, and aren't allowed to build bombs. But the general rule holds.
The largest manufacturer of nuclear reactors, Westinghouse, went bankrupt in 2017, dragged down by a couple of plants going much more over their budgets than expected...
Yeah this is the same mob who on getting their collective arses handed to them by progressive candidates go, " Yeah we were definitely not far right enough" *facepalm *
😂 Oh thankyou for reminding me of one of my favourite scenes of educational television, John.
https://youtu.be/2WZLJpMOxS4
Now I'll never able to think of Dutton with quite so much fear anymore. I've been weirdly afraid of what he can do next, but he keeps forgetting to read world news or do his homework at the moment, so he's going to faaaaaiiiiiil. xx
Your title had me immediately thinking of Buster Gonad and his Unfeasiblly Large Testicles, from Viz Magazine. Imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be about Dutts. Buster carried his around in a wheelbarrow, but I think Dutts carries his around on his shoulders!
In a week of ridiculous nonsense from the LNP (it's hard to consider them a credible opposition, they come across more like the argument sketch from Monty Python "Man: I came here for a good argument.
LNP: No you didn't; no, you came here for an argument.
Man: An argument isn't just contradiction.
LNP: It can be.
Man: No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
LNP: No it isn't.
Man: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.
LNP: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
Man: Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'
LNP: Yes it is!)
I suspect the Teals, and other less loony independents - Not you Ms Hanson, and the Greens will be a more credible opposition in this term. But I would like to single out Barnaby Joyce's truly blue sky omnishambles of a speech. WTF was that, I mean sure his shafting of an amendment to support the region is business as usual for Barnaby but that speech. "“What, we’re the wisest one on the planet are we? Or are we once more going to leave ourselves in the previous century as the whole world moves on with the technology, with the jobs, with all that is before them in a new opening industry of small modular nuclear energy reactors.”
After this week I am pretty sure there will be material for you JB for the next few years.
The elephant in the containment vessel is a subject that rarely gets mentioned.
No insurance company will issue cover in the event that the top blows off and covers the whole downwind area, in the equivalent of industrial grade Round-Up, and a whole range of other little nasties, with polysyllabic names.
Therefore our government becomes the default insurer. As history tells us any remuneration that may be awarded by our esteemed overlords, will be lower than the yearly wage of an Indian untouchable.
As an aside has any Small Modular Reactor actually been built yet? That old maxim, never buy the mark one of anything, let some other poor buggers be the crash test dummy, definitely applies in this case.
I think nuclear fusion will be a goer one day but all I'm interested in is a hydrogen powered motorbike. I want two wheel drive, a slipper clutch and a top speed of fkn heaps!
He's a very green spud, poisonous of course. Have a gander at France, rivers too warm, flows too low, huge output cuts for nuclear power during heatwaves. We wouldn't have those problems at all.
Gold..lol..thanx Birmo..
Queenslanders are a strange breed, they are always a few decades behind the rest of the country. Airlines pilots would often tell that old joke to the passengers over the cabin speakers. We will be landing in Brisbane shortly, the weather is a balmy twenty-eight, and don't forget to turn your watches back fifty years.
Poor old pathetic Pete is still concussed, as you say, from realising that having stacked all the influential department heads and the prime minister's office with Murdoch's minions, and a Delaware-based media conglomerate that bestrode the daily dialogue, like the colossus of Rhodes. Even now old prune face Vader is plotting his revenge on a recalcitrant electorate. Not even John Howard's and Peter Costello's conclave with the big Kahuna of the Exclusive Brethren, Bruce Hales himself, should that be Hades, was enough to swing the election with the big boss in the sky's imprimatur.
Bald pated Petes thought bubble that nuclear power was the way to attract some new donors, for the Parakeelia vault, with a promise of billions in subsidies of our money, was the panacea that would solve decades of cognitive dissonance.
I'm all for the discussion, but presently there is no native nuclear industry. We'd be importing the lot. Such a clever idea. Lower initial overheads to make renewables natively. Especially if batteries keep improving and hydrogen storage materials are developed locally (yes our underfunded Unis are still capable of breakthroughs.)
I wouldn't discount the opportunities for many disappointments to come.
John, you are the ultimate truth teller!
There's some sort of witty comment involving potatoes, sunlight and being toxic I'm giving up on. My brain has gone to mash.