Colleagues, we all know the jernalisms aren’t getting any easier, so I’ve compiled this useful guide for lazier hacks to make it easier. Should you find yourself in the vicinity of somebody seeking supreme executive power over 25 million or so little Vegemiters and you’re inclined to seek of them some answers regarding the difficult and complicated issues of our day, fuck that, and brace them with these guaranteed viral howlers instead.
• What’s the price of bread?
• No, not that bread, the other sort.
• Can you even kick a loaf of bread Albo? Properly, like a footy? Right through the centre posts for four points?
• Ha! Gotcha, it’s six points! Hold the presses! Albo doesn’t know about footy or bread.
• Hey wait, what? Where’s my sandwich?
• Why is the PM kicking my sandwich like that? And why’s he driving a tank over it? Oh wait. Where’s his photographer? Okay, but can I have another question?
• Trans ladies.
• No that’s the question.
• Okay but what if some trans lady who was really a bloke wanted to join the real lady footy league and she could punt a sourdough loaf right through the posts from halfway down the field would that even be fair?
Thanks for this. It’s going to be 6 weeks of extended Gotchas – ending with a summary of Credlin’s column last week when she said the election was between bad(Morrison) & worse (Albanese). Then, as directed by their proprietors the MSM will say that, with regret, voters must support the most corrupt, incompetent, government in Australian history
ALP $ 1.55 LIBS $ 2.50 Of course that's only sucker money at this early stage but the ALP have drifted while the LIBS have firmed in the last week. We'll know more closer to the day but the money is usually a pretty good indicator
Howard started cooking the books some time ago by tilting immigration towards white south africans and indians. I've never met one of either that votes for the left. Even a black Zimbabwean I know won't vote left because of his experiences with Mugabe. Many Chinese come here to escape authoritarianism which they also equate with the Left. These are the quiet Australians that Snotty Scotty is talking about. Put PUP in the mix with " Save Your Homes" promising a legislated, and of course undeliverable, 3 % interest rate for 5 years and I'd say Labor are in trouble.
Ha gotcha. Both Albo and that other useless not deliverer are from Sydney, and support the bunnies and thee happy clapping sharks, so a goal is 2 points. Ha!
Gonna be a long six weeks... Apparently most people haven't even noticed that the election has been called, yet. And why would they? Corflutes? Gotchas on the news? Who even watches that any more?
FFS it's going to be a long six weeks isn't it?
With your help, JB, I reckon I'll survive the next 6 weeks. Thank you.
Thanks for this. It’s going to be 6 weeks of extended Gotchas – ending with a summary of Credlin’s column last week when she said the election was between bad(Morrison) & worse (Albanese). Then, as directed by their proprietors the MSM will say that, with regret, voters must support the most corrupt, incompetent, government in Australian history
ALP $ 1.55 LIBS $ 2.50 Of course that's only sucker money at this early stage but the ALP have drifted while the LIBS have firmed in the last week. We'll know more closer to the day but the money is usually a pretty good indicator
Howard started cooking the books some time ago by tilting immigration towards white south africans and indians. I've never met one of either that votes for the left. Even a black Zimbabwean I know won't vote left because of his experiences with Mugabe. Many Chinese come here to escape authoritarianism which they also equate with the Left. These are the quiet Australians that Snotty Scotty is talking about. Put PUP in the mix with " Save Your Homes" promising a legislated, and of course undeliverable, 3 % interest rate for 5 years and I'd say Labor are in trouble.
Ha gotcha. Both Albo and that other useless not deliverer are from Sydney, and support the bunnies and thee happy clapping sharks, so a goal is 2 points. Ha!
Gonna be a long six weeks... Apparently most people haven't even noticed that the election has been called, yet. And why would they? Corflutes? Gotchas on the news? Who even watches that any more?
Haha. who do ya barrack for?
It so long with vignettes like this to distract!