34 Comments
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Penny Gleeson's avatar

' Dear Mr Ping ' 🤣🤣🤣

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John Birmingham's avatar

I'm glad somebody else enjoyed that as much as me.

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Elana Mitchell's avatar

“being myself a smallish employer forced to hire greedy millionaire proofreaders…”

Excuse me, are you slanderously accusing me of being a millionaire, or are you *gasp* TWO TIMING ME with a millionaire proofreader? I can assure you that your millionaire proofreader’s ability to nit pick your typos will be severely constrained by the Scrooge McDuck style swimming through piles of money they are required to complete, which will distract them from the aforementioned nit picking 😑

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John Birmingham's avatar

Not slanderously, no.

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Mercurial's avatar

Anyway they aren't employees, are they? They are truly-independent contracting small businesses, or some such tripe.

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K2SO's avatar

You'd make a superior Chinese spy, JB. Hope you get the job!

As for work from home (WFH), I'm still confused as to why there's any issue with it as long as you submit your work on time and of an acceptable quality. How and where you completed it is completely irrelevant, surely? WFH has so many pluses: no commute, saving time and fossil fuels, not to mention the atmosphere; if you WFH you do not require costly office space or equipment; add in the work-life balance and flexibility for the employee, and literally everyone wins! The employer, the employee, and the environment all end up well in the black.

So, where does the obsession with getting people back into offices come from? My theory is three-fold:

1. managers fear there will be demand for fewer managers, so want people working in the office to protect their jobs;

2. extroverts prefer to be around people and can't deal with the isolation of their home offices;

3. office politics bullies crave their fix of making everyone miserable, but they can only really do it face-to-face in the office without leaving an electronic trail HR departments can feast on.

As someone who was fucked over many a time by office politics bullies, shysters, credit-stealers and other varieties of ghoul, I now refuse to take anything other than a WFH job. So there, ghouls!

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Andrew Reilly's avatar

Based on the apparent character of the sorts of people making back-to-the-office demands, I'd say that there's a significant chunk of (1) in it. Pair that with management who don't actually know what productivity in their field looks like, but reckon that they can spot effort if they see it.

There's probably also a chunk of concern about down-town office property and lunch-food dining establishment values.

The only practical benefit that I've seen is the socialization aspect: it seems to be more difficult to get a team to gel at the start of a project without a bunch of in-the-same-room time, and maintenance of company culture (whatever that is) seems harder. So I have some sympathy for "at least spend some days/week in a hot-desk, please" policies, or project-start off-site workshops or whatever. I did notice that over the Covid shutdowns we lost a few new hires who just never felt that they belonged, which was a shame. These observations almost certainly vary with the nature of the work.

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Mercurial's avatar

Oh won't somebody think of the cafes!!

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isabel robinson's avatar

Is there any reason (besides plumbing expenses) that at least a few of the floors of office blocks can't be converted to residential units? Would help with costs and keep the cafes etc in customers.

I quite like the idea of having a CBD holiday pad to occasionally indulge in decadent inner city entertainment. Of course I might have to take up a job as a greedy proofreader in order to have the millions to afford one.

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Valerie Kennedy's avatar

Not 100% sure, but those expensive downtown office buildings have to keep paying rent, as well as expect managers to use technology well to do their job.

The can't micromanage: policing time away from your desk for toilet breaks, coffee breaks, and lunch.

This will deprive them of work satisfaction bcos they're narcissistic psychopaths, & will be reduced to getting their jollies by other sadistic means, like pulling the wings off flies, & abusing the staff at the cafe downstairs. Their coffee is too hot/cold, pannini hasn't got enough pastrami, where's the mayo!?

They also climb the corporate ladder by 0trampling on minions, & licking the anuses of senior management. More jollies to be deprived of! A supervisor no more, since all the fun has been taken away.

They will be bored, trapped at a computer most of the time, & their bored bosses will police their toilet breaks etc.

Oh, & the company woll lose the $$ in rent from that cafe downstairs when it goes tits up!

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Valerie Kennedy's avatar

* te: keep paying rent:

Commercial leases are 5x5x5 or something

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Ginger Cat's avatar

I quite like spending time in the office with the people in my team. However, the problem with open plan offices is that I am also subjected to the free-range nonsense of people in *other* teams. There are a lot of loud / constant / both talkers out there

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Michael Barnes's avatar

"I assume it has to be the Chinese because nobody else can afford the asking price of your average former Australian politician" I think you overestimate the current market value for Australian politicians.

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Greybeard's avatar

A slab of Tooheys and a half price ticket to Hooters for a former Deputy PM?

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Rohan Gladman's avatar

Some Ukulele lessons?

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Greybeard's avatar

Hang about. Didn't you once work for one of them agencies what wear Drizabones instead of trenchcoats and have acronyms and stuff?

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John Birmingham's avatar

Quiet, you.

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Jo's avatar

Wait til Innes finds out some bank workers are wfh 5 days a week because the banks got rid of their office space the second the pandemic hit

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Andrew Reilly's avatar

I wonder how Mr Wilcox' $/yr/day productivity number works? My productivity *accelerates* when I work from home?

So few people even do dimension analysis these days, to check their statements, let alone back-of-the envelope checks.

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ivalley's avatar

Sorry. I laughed my nuts off at this.

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halwes's avatar

Mr Ping and Mr Willcox are definitely cut with the same cloth. Both have a vast spy network of frightened proles.

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thekrunkymonkey's avatar

I just want to know who the spy is.

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John Birmingham's avatar

I’m just waiting for Serkan Ozturk to out them.

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Jo's avatar

Just update your LinkedIn profile and brag about your security clearances you’ll be a shoe in. 🤣

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Beeso's avatar

Ok, take my money

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halwes's avatar

We've been having fun guessing who the spy is. So funny to see the lefties blaming the right and vice versa. Dutton knows I reckon because he wants them outed publicly. I tried AI. It knows but it won't say.

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John Birmingham's avatar

Possibly, but another reason for Dutton to be so vocal about wanting to out the perp is that it’s one of his own. So he creates some distance. Although the Labor Party guys have been very reluctant to even contemplate releasing it, so you’re probably right. I have some theories. Unfortunately, defamation laws prevent me from doing anything with them.

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Theo Bekkers's avatar

JB is not Jason? James Bond perhaps.

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Evan Hughes's avatar

I confess some bafflement at the fate of the unnamed former MP. In a robust security environment, one might reasonably expect the miscreant to be discreetly disappeared, with a footnote in Hansard to advise the House of Reps of their sudden memory-holing.

Isn't this individual going to face any consequences besides being assessed as 'not being stupid enough to do it again'?

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Theo Bekkers's avatar

I understand that what this alleged traitor is intimated to have done has only recently become a crime, and his or her actions were not illegal at the time and therefore not actionable now. So, nothing to see here. Justice is served by innuendo. No doubt the name of the non-criminal will be disclosed in such a way that no one can be sued.

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Evan Hughes's avatar

That's some loophole. Thanks!

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halwes's avatar

If the spy is a woman, foreign looking, homosexual or any of the above no one will ever be told.

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Evan Hughes's avatar

Anus Bollox.

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